Secrets
by JediMagnet09
Summary: Sam has a secret, one that he's kept from his family since he was ten years old.  When a fight leaves them vulnerable and in the hands of a witch, Sam's secret is the one thing between them and disaster.  Can Sam survive this battle of life and death?
1. Prologue

Hi all! Here's my new story! I know I've used the "warrior of heaven" thing before, but, frankly, I think that fits Sam better than the whole devil's #$%^ does. What can I say? I'm a Sam girl! (I'm a Dean girl too, but I'm mostly a Sam girl.) :)

I hope you enjoy this story! Please review!

* * *

_11 year old Sam Winchester knelt beside his bed, once he was sure that his big brother and his father were asleep. He didn't speak out loud, afraid he would wake them up, so he simply mouthed the words to the questions he just **had** to know the answer to._

_"Dear God. Why? Why do I...Why am I different? I'm scared. I can't tell dad and Dean about this. I can't. Please tell me. Why?"_

_Sam paused, wiping a few errant tears out of his eyes._

_"Thank you for Dean being my big brother and thank you for dad letting me go to Jake's house today. Please keep Dean and daddy safe while they hunt and **please** help them not to find out. Amen." _

_Sam climbed into bed, exhaustion overcoming him almost immediately and he slid into a deep sleep._

_..._

_Somehow, Sam knew almost immediately that he was dreaming._

_He walked through the trees that towered over his head, admiring the quiet peace of nature around him. It wasn't often that he got to go into the woods if it wasn't attached to a hunt: to terror and fear and dark memories of blood and screams that would haunt him in his nightmares and waking moments alike. _

_"Samuel."_

_Sam twisted around in surprise at the call of his name. _

_He didn't recognize the man standing before him. He was tall and lean, wearing a tan trench coat, and a serious expression on his face._

_"Who are you?" Sam asked. He had an odd feeling about this guy. _

_"I am an angel of the Lord. I have come to answer your prayer, Samuel."_

_Sam's eyes widened. "Really?"_

_The angel seemed amused, if confused. "Really."_

_Sam hesitated. "Is this real or am I dreaming?" _

_The angel frowned, as if he didn't understand. "Dreaming does not make what you see here untrue. It simply means I choose to visit while you are asleep."_

_Sam considered that, then nodded. "Okay."_

_The angel considered Sam for a moment, then continued softly. "Samuel, your gifts are of heaven. God has given them to you as a weapon to be used in defense of your family and to destroy the evil you will face in your life. You are a warrior of heaven, Samuel, sent to earth to fight for humanity's sake. **That **is why you are different. It is the will of God. It is your destiny. It will not be easy. At times, it may seem torturous and more than you can endure, but remember that you will **always** have the strength to complete your task, to continue on. Fear not, for you are never alone."_

_Sam fought the tears that threatened to overwhelm him and nodded. "Thank you."_

_The angel smiled. "Don't thank me. I am simply the messenger."_

_As the angel turned to leave, Sam called out on an impulse. "What's your name?"_

_He turned back to face the youngest Winchester, seeming surprised by the question. "I am known as Castiel."_

_"Thank you, Castiel." Sam repeated._

_Castiel paused, then inclined his head and turned, disappearing into the white mist around them._

_And Sam woke. _


	2. Chapter 1

O.o Wow! Thanks for the response guys! I'm glad everyone seems to like this story, I certainly do! Well, here's the next chapter! Please review! :)

The real action doesn't start till at least next chapter, but here's a little bit to start us off...

By the way, Sam is _about_ 17 in this chapter. We've skipped a few years. :)

* * *

Sam walked down the street, mind racing through all the things he had learned in school. After years of struggle, he had managed to get to his senior year and with all good grades. He hoped to be able to go to college with those grades. He hadn't even mentioned this to his family.

_Not like they'd really miss me anyway. My dad would just miss the soldier he created. Ha._

His dad was never pleased with him. It didn't matter how hard he tried, it didn't matter what he gave up or what he sacrificed. He was never enough.

The only thing he kept from his father and out of his painful attempts to please the man was his..._abilities_. It was a line he wouldn't...couldn't cross.

_Yeah, 'cause he wouldn't do more than lecture me about keeping things from him then shoot me between the eyes point blank. Dean would just follow dad around like a puppy waiting to please his master, not caring who got hurt in the process as long as the almighty 'father' was pleased._

Sam snorted. _Wow. I'm just slightly bitter, aren't I?_

Shaking the dark thoughts from his head, Sam continued on his way to the motel from school with a sigh.

That's when he heard the scream.

"Leave me alone!"

He looked around, spotting the source of the scream almost immediately. A young woman, back pressed up against a wall, was trying to fend off three guys, casually standing around her, all staring at her like she was a slab of meat they just couldn't wait to get ahold of.

Sam was moving before his mind had fully understood what he was doing and what he was facing.

His mind smoothly registered the necessary need-to-knows.

_Outnumbered._

_Civilian to keep track of._

_No weapons visible._

_No visible obstacles in terrain._

_Crap. This is __**not**__ what I wanted to do today. _

They were all looking at him now, clearly wondering what he wanted, the girl looking a bit desperate for help.

"I believe she asked you to leave her alone." Sam had always been one to talk first, swing later.

The three guys looked him up and down, clearly trying to decide if he was a threat. "What's it to you?" one of them finally asked.

Sam shrugged. "I just don't take kindly to guys who think picking on girls is a form of entertainment."

"Well, how about you just go back to your business buddy, cause this ain't it."

Sam sighed. "I think it is."

The guys began to shift at that, moving their full attention to him as opposed to the girl. Sam changed his stance just a little, tensing, getting ready for a fight.

A quick glance at the girl, a jerk of his head, and she was running off, not looking back. He didn't blame her.

The guy in front wore a wife-beater that hung too loosely on him, his expression one of disgust and annoyance. His buddy on his right wore his pants nearly down to his ankles, never a look that Sam appreciated or thought was practical (he couldn't ignore _everything_ his father taught and believe it or not, they did agree on _some _things), and had a blank look on his face that Sam couldn't help but find slightly amusing. The last guy, on the disgusted guy's left, had a large scar on his left cheek and Sam silently labeled him the most dangerous. Something about the look in his eyes set Sam on edge and warned him that he was not one to be underestimated.

Disgusted guy moved first, swinging wide at Sam's face. Sam ducked, bringing a knee up into the guy's abdomen. He doubled over, gasping and swearing.

The pants guy was there a second later, trying to copy Sam's move. _Muscle and no brains. _Crossed Sam's mind before he just side-stepped out of the guy's way, bashing an arm into the scrambling kid's back so he fell to the ground, face first. Sam didn't hear the crunch, but he was pretty sure the kid's nose was broken.

Sam brought an arm up to block a wide swing from scar-dude and had to wince at the power behind the swing. Yeah, definitely the most dangerous.

On his left, the disgusted guy was coming at him again. Sweeping a leg out, Sam had him on the ground a second later. _Moron._

To his surprise, the pants guy was up faster than he had expected, blood pouring from his nose, but his face twisted in anger.

The scar-dude was still moving, Sam struggling to keep him from coming too close with one arm, while preparing to deal with pants guy with the other.

His split attention cost him.

Scar-dude got a good punch in, knocking Sam back a few steps as blood poured from his now split lip.

Pants-guy came at him and Sam huffed in annoyance. With a sudden viscous grin, Sam _reached_ out with his telekinesis and _yanked_ the boy's pants down. The kid stumbled, trying to keep his balance and Sam smashed a hand into his chest, cracking several ribs and knocking the guy backward.

He didn't get back up.

Sam didn't have time to revel in his victory. Scar-dude and disgusted guy were coming at him again, from different sides. Sam was ready for this to be over.

Moving quickly, Sam slammed bodily into disgusted-guy, knowing his full weight and size (greater than that of his opponent) would send the guy flying.

Disgusted guy slammed into the wall, bashing his head against the brick and collapsed.

_Two down, one to go._

A flash of metal in Sam's peripheral vision was the only thing that saved him.

Scar-dude had pulled a knife from who-knew-where and it was inches from his face when Sam noticed it.

His reaction was instinctual.

He _grabbed _the knife with his telekinesis, stopping it in it's track.

The scar-dude finally looked surprised, struggling against the hold on the knife. He couldn't move it. He let go, but still it hung there. He stared in shock at it and Sam used the distraction to his advantage, coming around with a full round-house punch and knocking the guy flat.

The knife clattered to the ground and Sam stepped over the various bodies, heading once more towards their motel, with a quick glance around to be sure that no one had noticed his seemingly impossible feats during the fight.

...

The walk to the motel felt longer than ever to a now sore Sam. His lip was still bleeding, but the damage wasn't too bad. It could have been a lot worse.

_My powers are barely controlable. _

Any burst of adrenaline and they were _aching_ to be released, fighting against the fierce control he held over them.

He was fairly sure it wouldn't be this bad if he could use them more often without worrying about his father putting a bullet into him.

_Like last week's hunt. I darn near killed myself trying to keep them in check __**and**__ remain focused enough to watch dad and Dean's back while we were fighting that stupid Wendigo. _

It certainly didn't help that he hadn't had a decent night's sleep in over a week.

_Darn nightmares are back. _

The nightmares weighed the most heavily on the teen's mind. Because they came true.

_I just have to see if I can lead dad subtly towards those hunts so we can save the lives of those poor people..._

Sam shuddered at the vivid memories. He never forgot them. Ever.

That was one ability he could certainly live without: his memory. See something _once_ and it was burned forever into some part of his mind, never to be forgotten.

Some things were _meant_ to be forgotten.

Sam stretched a little. _And then of course, there's the transformation last night. Didn't get __**any **__sleep last night._

He found he could hold back the wolf side of him for about a week before he _needed_ to transform. When he had literally _growled_ at his father the day before, he knew he had waited too long. The wolf side of his personality got harder to control the longer he went without transforming.

It was getting harder to find secluded places to transform.

He _really _didn't want his screams to be overheard. He hated doing it alone, but he couldn't say he wasn't used to it.

He'd been alone for a long time, no matter what the angel had said.

...

"Sam! What the heck happened to you? Crap, that looks awful." Dean cringed at the sight of Sam's bloodied lip and chin.

Sam snorted. "You should see the other guys."

"What did you get yourself into now?" John asked.

Sam barely restrained an eye roll. "Nothing, dad. Just some losers that decided picking on a girl is fun. We got into a slight disagreement."

John gave him a piercing look, then turned back to his readings.

Sam sighed.

Dean pulled him into the bathroom and handed him a rag, checked his lip, decided it wasn't too bad, and went back to cleaning the weapons.

John was murmuring under his breath, trying to remember some vague Latin phrase to an exorcism he was trying to learn.

Sam remembered the phrase in a flash, he had read it once in some Latin dictionary or something, and was speaking before he could stop himself, smoothly streaming out the Latin phrase John was looking for.

John and Dean both stared at him and Sam cursed himself internally.

He just raised his eyebrows at them, then shrugged as if dismissing them. "What? I _do _study, you know!" Sam sighed. "I'm gonna go for a run." He dropped his backpack on the floor and headed for the door again.

_Crap. That was freakin' close. I need to be more careful._


	3. Chapter 2

Wow, guys! Thanks for all the response! I'm glad people like this story! :) Here's the next chapter! Please enjoy! (Oh, and it's going to get much worse before it gets better..._if_ it gets better, ha ha ha ha!) :D

* * *

Sam knew the peace couldn't have lasted long.

"Oh, come on, dad! I just want to go to a _football_ game, it's only gonna be a couple _hours_!"

"I said _no, _Sam! We have a hunt tonight."

"You guys don't need me anyway!" Sam cried. It's not like they ever really let him do anything. It could be _"dangerous"_. As if just being there wasn't dangerous enough.

John's jaw tightened, what little control he had over his temper disappearing. "Well, perhaps if you would actually _try_ in your training you'd be useful!"

Hurt filled Sam's face for just a moment before anger shoved it aside. "I _do_ try in training. But maybe I'm not made to be some freaky war machine like you want me to be! I'm not Dean, dad, I'm _Sam_." _Oh. That didn't come out right. _"I never asked for this! I never had a choice! Why do I have to be punished for something that happened when I was six months old that we don't even fully understand?"

Dean scowled. He had been standing by, just listening tiredly since the argument began, but he just couldn't keep quiet anymore. "Crap, Sam! Do you ever think about anyone other than yourself? We're hunting to avenge mom! Don't you love her?"

Sam froze, a fresh wave of pain crashing into him. _Dean actually entered the argument. And...on dad's side. Well. At least I know who's side he's really on. Battle lines drawn. Great._

Sam's hurt quieted his voice and his response was soft. "I never knew her. I was only six months old, Dean. I _never knew her._ I do know one thing though. She wouldn't want this for us."

Dean lunged forward and grabbed the front of Sam's shirt roughly. Nothing could make him explode faster than talking about Mary. "How would you know that? You said it yourself, you didn't know her! This life isn't perfect, but it's what we got. I'm tired of listening to your whining, so just _shut up_, Sam." Dean snarled.

Sam was angry again in an instant, pushing Dean forcefully away from him, adding a little bit of telekinesis to the push so he would actually move. "I-"

But John cut him off. "Sam, you aren't going to some worthleess football game. The hunt comes first, so get your priorities straight. You're coming with us after this witch, then tonight you're going to train and practice until you drop for not doing as you were told before. Stop arguing and get in the car." he ordered firmly.

Sam stopped, staring at his family for a moment. "No." he answered softly.

Both of the older Winchesters froze, shocked. Never had Sam been so openly defiant. No one crossed John. It was just another unspoken Winchester rule.

"I don't have to live this life anymore and I'm not going to. I have a right to find some peace in life, I'm not required to sacrifice it just because you two are so sucked into this revenge obsession. I hate what happened to mom. But I hate what _you_ let her death to do this family, to your children. Instead of protecting us, shielding us, you destroyed us. You exposed us to evil so great that none of us can ever be the same. You haven't been a father to me since I was eight and found out the supernatural was real. I'm not letting the rest of my life go to waste."

With that, Sam threw the door open and ran for all he was worth.

Both of the Winchesters stepped outside, shocked to see Sam already down the street, running full out.

Dean only hesitated a second before taking off after him, John calling his youngest son's name.

"SAM! SAMUEL! GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE! SAMUEL!"

...

Sam veered off into the park, hoping to cut across and lose Dean in the woods on the other side of it.

Over the years, Sam had struggled in many of the different areas his father had them train in, but running had never been hard for him. He had long legs and loved to run full out.

This felt like a run for his life and he put his all into it. _Come on. Come on. Come __**on**__._

Dean panted behind him, managing to put on a burst of speed and leapt forward, tackling Sam down into the grass.

They wrestled, Sam trying to kick his brother off, Dean trying to pin Sam fully to the ground to stop his struggling.

Sam nearly got a leg up and over his brother to throw him off, but Dean elbowed his knee _hard_ and Sam yelped in pain.

_That'll bruise in the morning._

"Sam, stop! Sammy, _stop!_"

"_Let me go!_ Dean, get off!"

John walked towards them, cursing under his breath.

Finally, Dean managed to grab both of Sam's wrists in his hands and pin them both to the ground, sitting down on Sam's middle to keep him there.

Sam was still struggling wildly, anger, fear, and adrenaline fueling his movements. Though Sam wasn't nearly as weak as his father and brother seemed to think, Sam still couldn't throw him off.

_Don't make me use my abilities on you, Dean. Crap. That's __**not**__ the way I want you to find out. For that matter, I don't __**want**__ you to find out at all. _

"What the heck, Sam!"

"Grounded. He's grounded till Christmas. He's grounded till _next_ Christmas." John was grinding out threats under his breath already, having already covered the ridiculous amount of training he had in store for his youngest son.

"Sam. Sam, come on. Stop! Sam, _stop, _man! Just hold still and talk to me for a second! What the heck is going on with you, man? Sam!"

But Sam refused to talk to him. He bucked wildly, fighting tears and panic. _I don't want them to find out. I don't want them to find out. They're gonna find out. I don't __**want**__ to be hunted. Please. Please. Castiel. I don't want to be hunted. I don't want to __**do this**__ anymore. Castiel! _

There was no heavenly trumpets, no bright light. Sam was alone.

_You said I'd never be alone, Castiel! You promised! _

"Sam! Sam! Come on, man! Listen to me for a second!"

_Dang it, you promised! _

Then a voice sounded next to Sam's ear, startling him for a second.

_**Yes. But I also promised it wouldn't be easy.**_

Sam gritted his teeth, nearly bucking Dean off this time because of the sheer strength and force and _panic_ he put into the violent movement.

_You think this is __**easy**__? You think __**anything**__ in the last 6 years has been __**easy**__? I haven't had a single __**easy**__ thing happen to me since the day I was born! _

"#$%^, Sam, what the heck- Just calm down, man. Just calm down! Sam!" Dean was still trying to get through to him.

A high-pitched laugh suddenly sounded nearby.

All looked up to see who the newcomer was.

John scowled as the witch strolled into view from the woods.

There was a bright flash of white light and the family remembered no more.

...

Dean came to slowly. The first thing he registered was that he couldn't move his hands much. The second was the breathing of someone beside him, so he wasn't alone.

That's when he remembered what had happened

Eyes flying open, Dean gazed around the room in surprise and worry. He was sitting on a dirty floor, probably in a basement. His hands were tied behind his back, ankles tied in front of him, the ropes around his wrists attached to...

He twisted to look behind him.

...circular metal rings that were attached...

He pulled at them.

_...firmly_ to the floor.

His father was by his side, waking up as well, taking in his surroundings.

They both noticed at the same time that Sam wasn't in the room with them.

"Sam!" Dean called, hoping that perhaps Sam was just in another nearby room and would be able to hear them.

There was no answer.

"Dad? What the heck-"

"The witch. It was the witch. She has us. Probably in a cabin or something in the woods. This is where we were probably going to track her down to tonight." John answered grimly.

"Where do you think Sam is?"

John shrugged, his face twisting into a deeper frown. "I don't know."

_Crap. I'm so sorry, Sammy. I shouldn't have jumped into that stupid argument. We should have just let you go to the stupid football game. I'm so sorry. I'll even say this to your face if you'll just be __**okay**__! _

...

About half an hour passed before they heard the first sounds from upstairs. Footsteps, a woman's voice, a soft voice that they both instantly recognized as belonging to Sam.

Then Sam erupted, screaming in fury at, they assumed, the witch.

They heard loud and clear.

"YOU WANT ME YOU TAKE ME, BUT LEAVE THEM ALONE OR SO HELP ME I'LL SEND YOUR WORTHLESS BUTT TO HELL FASTER THAN YOU CAN BLINK!"


	4. Chapter 3

Hey all! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

* * *

The witch cackled.

It wasn't an encouraging response.

"Oh, you needn't worry, Sammy." she laughed. "I'm not going to do anything to them. Yet, at least. You see, I find you _much_ more fascinating."

Sam hesitated, sounding wary. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't play dumb with me, Sam. I _know your secret._"

Dean frowned, John looked up at the ceiling. Both were confused and concerned.

_Secret? What secret? _Dean didn't like the sound of that.

Sam was quiet for a moment, then responded, his voice strained, "I don't know what you're talking about."

The witch laughed again. "Of course you don't. The habit runs deep, doesn't it, Sam? After all, it's been...what, 6, 7 years? Yes, yes, a long time to be keeping a secret. It must be hard. To hide it all. And for so long. I'm quite impressed."

Sam was silent.

_What the heck is she talking about, Sammy? What does she have on you? What haven't you told us?_

"For someone with so much talent, I'm surprised your father and brother can think so little of you. I mean, think about it, Sam. Your father thinks you're _useless_. He even _said it_ tonight, didn't he? Your brother sided against you. Your family thinks you're _useless_, Sam. Why don't you just _show them? _You _could,_ you know. You could make them _fear you_. You could teach them exactly how powerful you are. Yet, you don't. Someone with so much talent should not be so mistreated, Sammy. You should be leading, not being trampled on." The witch hissed.

_Be afraid of Sammy? Why the heck would we fear Sam? _Dean's eyebrows furrowed in unpleasant doubt and worry.

Sam scoffed, "You're crazy."

"Am I? Sam, you saved a woman's life this morning. You put your own life on the line and you _know_ you wouldn't have been able to defeat those three morons without...your talents."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

_Wow. And Sam accuses __**me**__ of denial._

The witch sighed.

"You really don't trust them, do you? We're alone, you know. Your family is downstairs, they can't hear you. Perhaps...if they frighten you so badly...I can protect you from them."

Her voice was low and soft, smooth as she tried to persuade him.

"You could be safe from them. You could save lives and not have to worry about your family turning around and stabbing you in the back. You would be _safe_, Sam. All I would ask was a few favors every so often. Just that little bit and you would be safe. You can't ask for a better deal than that, Sam."

_WHAT? Stab him in the back? We might not get along all the time, but I would give my __**life**__ for Sam! How could he worry that we were going to stab him in the back? What is he not 'safe' __**from**__? _

Dean was growing to really hate this witch.

Sam was silent for a moment, then finally responded softly.

"No. No, I don't trust them."

Dean flinched at that. _Sammy..._

"No, they won't ever know the truth. And, no, I will probably never know...never know safety. Peace."

Sam sounded pained and it tugged at Dean's heart. His father was sitting stiff and silent beside him. Both were listening closely.

_Don't take her offer, Sammy. I promise I'll make it better. I __**promise**__. Just give me a chance. Please. Just give me a chance. _

Sam's voice hardened. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to turn my back on the side of good. I will _never _serve you. I'm not going to prove them right, I'm not going to give them _reason_ to hate me. Even if my dad or Dean ends up hunting me, even if someone finds out..."

An edge of bitterness sharpened Sam's tone, though the pain hadn't disappeared. "...well, I suppose I was just a useless child anyway. Dad wants a soldier. If he only knew."

John winced at that.

Dean hung his head. _What have we done?_

"Oh poor Sammy." the witch crooned. "Perhaps I should explain my point of view a little more thoroughly then."

A second later, movement sounded on the floor above them.

"Stay away from me! What is that?" Sam barked harshly.

The movement intensified.

Dean guessed Sam was struggling with the witch.

There was a loud thump on the floor.

"_That_ my dear Sam is motivation. You see, if I press _this_ button-"

Sam suddenly cried out.

Dean flinched, staring at the ceiling in horror.

"It delivers a strong electric shock. It's typically used on dogs. Though I suppose it would work for your..._breed_ as well."

Dean felt his blood run cold. _Oh gosh. Please. He's not a...not a werewolf? But how could he hide __**that**__ from us? I mean, we'd notice if he disappeared every full moon..._

Sam cried out again, body jerking against the floor. "No!"

Another cry, a small thump on the floor. "Stop."

A frightened whimper. "...no..."

A small plea. "...don't..."

Dean closed his eyes, his head hanging, fighting tears. _Sammy. I'm so sorry, Sammy. Just hang on, kiddo. I'm so, so sorry. _


	5. Chapter 4

Hey all! I made a mistake. I skipped a chapter...I'm just awesome like that. So this chapter is supposed to be before the chapter that was previously chapter four... hee hee. sorry. :)

* * *

The sounds finally stopped.

Sam was sobbing, but he was clearly trying to pull himself together, his soft cries getting softer and softer until they were inaudible.

His voice was a soft murmur, but it slowly rose in intensity, till his voice, shaky and weak though it was, was clear as it spoke the latin.

John frowned. _I've only ever...I've only heard that __**once**__. I __**know**__ Sam has only seen that phrase once. How the heck..._

Dean was just as confused. He very vaguely remembered seeing this phrase in his dad's journal, but John hadn't had them study it yet because it was new and he wasn't familiar with it. _How could Sam possibly remember that?_

Sam cut off with a gasp of agony, accentuated by another laugh from the witch.

"Well, well. There's one ability. Your memory just _fascinates_ me, Sam. Everything you read, everything you see, is implanted in your memory forever. It's such a blessing, yet...it's a curse too, isn't it?"

Her voice was soft, understanding. Clearly, she still had hope that Sam would join her.

"Nothing ever fades. The blood of you, your family, and the many innocents that have died around you: torn apart, split open. The monsters with their demonic forms and terrifying screeches as they loom over you, trying to murder you again and again, day after day. The nightmares. They are almost the worst part, aren't they? Your imagination is incredibly vivid and your dreams are horrific. The horrors you see daily combined with what _could have _happened... They are yours to suffer with _forever. _Poor, _poor, _Sammy."

_Oh, Sam. Sammy. _Dean felt his heart tug painfully. _I'm so sorry. _He was pretty sure he would never be able to scrub away the guilt and horror at his failures where it came to Sam.

Sam just growled inarticulately at her.

John's eyebrows raised in surprise. _That's kinda how he growled at me a while back. Animalistic. Huh. _

The witch laughed. "Now, now. Contain yourself, beast." Another laugh, then she restrained herself. "You try so hard to be normal for your family, Sam, yet deep down, you know that you're _not normal_ and you _never will be_. They...frighten you, do they not?"

Dean jerked. _Why? Why, Sammy? Why would you be afraid of us?_

"You are afraid that someday they will find out and you will be hunted. They will find out _everything_. From the age of ten years old, you have kept this from them. They only see in black and white, right, Sam? And you just desperately want to believe that you're a shade of grey. So you never tell them..."

Sam growled again. "No! No, I never did and I never will. You might as well let me go now, because I'm not going to help you. I'm going to do nothing for you."

The witch continued on like he hadn't spoken. "You never tell them about the memory, about the nightmares that come true, about the telekinesis, about the transformations. You have so much _power_, Sam, why do you deny yourself true access to it?" She sounded angry now.

"Go to #$%^."

The witch was silent for a moment. "I won't _let you_ waste it. Even if I have to break you first."

A horrible scream ripped through the house. _Sam. _It lasted what felt like an eternity, tearing at his family like it was their own physical pain.

There was a small pause, Sam sobbing.

"Do you want to help me now?"

Sam, panting and sobbing, refused. "Never."

More screams echoed through the house.

Finally, silence again, broken only by the pained, labored breathing of the youngest Winchester.

"I want to see you transform." The witch snarled angrily.

Sam refused.

"_Now_, or your brother will be dead before you can take another breath."

Sam hesitated.

Her footsteps sounded on the floor.

"Stop."

Strange scratching, strange sounds emitted from Sam.

A scream ripped from him that gradually turned into a horrible _snarl_ of pain and anger.

There was the sound of claws tapping on the floor and the witch cackled in delight. "Well, aren't you a pretty wolf?"

There was a fierce _snap_.

"Change back." the witch sounded distinctly irritated.

Suddenly, the witch was yelling, shouting.

Sam was snarling, _roaring_.

The sounds of battle above them. Cries from the witch, occasional whimpers from Sam.

Claws, crashing, scratching, growls.

A cry from the witch.

A scream from Sam.

Silence.


	6. Chapter 5

I had some free time today, so I decided to post another chapter! I had already finished this one, so...yeah... Here it is! Hope you enjoy! Thanks for all the reviews! :)

EDIT: Hey guys. I'm an idiot. I skipped the real chapter four. So if you would go back and re-read chapter four, this chapter will make better sense. I really messed up. Sigh. It's been a long week. Anyway, please read chapter four and _then_ read this one. Thanks everyone and I'm really sorry! :)

* * *

Dean cried. It wasn't something he often did, if ever, but..._ Please don't be dead. Please, Sammy. _Everything he had heard...everything he had learned. It brought a whole new perspective to the last few years with his brother and it made him regret so much. He didn't even know where to start, except... _Please be alive, Sammy. __**Please**__._

As if in answer to the plea, Sam appeared at the top of the basement stairs. He was swaying, bleeding. And, frankly, the kid looked like crap. But he was alive.

He stumbled down a couple of stairs, but his legs gave out not even half way down and he came tumbling down the remaining steps.

"Sammy!"

Sam just lied there for a moment, gathering himself, but then, with a small groan, pushed himself up to his feet. His clothes were badly torn, he was bleeding from long cuts in places. He was pale, his eyes bloodshot.

Dean wanted to shoot the witch himself when he saw the shock collar around his baby brother's throat.

"I m-managed to knock her out. She won't be out long though. W-we have t-to hurry."

Sam clearly had no idea everything they had heard. He was trying to act normal and Dean had to hand it to the kid that he was a good actor. Considering the kid had just gone through a full blown battle as a _wolf_ with a _witch_? Yeah. Sam was pretty calm.

_You won't have to do that much longer, kiddo. I promise. I'll prove to you that you can trust me if it's the last thing I do._

...

Sam walked out of the cabin at the head of the small family, but he was keeping his distance.

Despite everything that had happened, he couldn't help but remember the argument that had gotten them into this mess in the first place. He was still hurting over what had been said to him and about him.

The witch had been right about some things.

_Dad said I was useless. Dean entered the argument on his side. Said I was __**selfish**__._

_I __**am **__afraid._

_But are there no shades of grey? _

Sam wasn't sure he had much hope left in that regard.

The sharp pang of exhaustion that hit him then nearly sent him to his knees in despair.

_I'm so tired of being afraid. I don't want to be afraid. I just...I'm so tired. I don't think I can do this much longer. _

The family reached a large, open meadow that Sam recognized was near the park they had originally been kidnapped from.

_Should I run?_

...

John finally could stand it no more. Questions filled his mind and his impatience won out over his common sense.

"Sam."

Sam stopped, still a few feet away from his family, and looked back at them.

Dean was already shaking his head at his father, having a _really_ bad feeling about this. _He's not prepared. Not now! Not here! _

"Sam. We heard everything." John began softly.

Sam's eyes widened.

Never in all his years of raising the kid had Dean seen Sam's eyes so full of emotion. Horror. Fear. Shock. Pain. All crossed his face.

Then he was taking off for the woods again, away from the witch, but away from his family as well.

"Sam!" Dean took several steps forward. Surely his brother would stop...in his state, the kid was in no shape to be on his own for long. "Sammy!"

Sam did reappear.

But it wasn't exactly in the manner that Dean had been hoping for or picturing.

Sam was slowly backing up, hands raised a little, entire body stiff.

"Sam?" Dean called, concern blossoming once more in his chest.

The three _huge_ hounds appeared out of the woods, surrounding Sam in a half circle.

The witch followed a few steps behind.

"SAM!"

The witch completely ignored the other two hunters, focus purely on Sam. "Come on, Sammy. I have grown tired of waiting for you. Why don't you show me some of your tricks? My beautiful pets here are just _aching_ for a fight." The witch flashed a wicked, mocking grin. "If you don't give them one, I will. Your family looks like nothing more than fresh meat to my pets. Only _you_ can protect them. Are you so cowardly that you would let your family be hurt, simply because you didn't want to share your secret?" The witch sneered.

Sam glared. "Why are you doing this? What could you _possibly _gain from terrorizing my family, from forcing my hand? You know I won't join you."

The witch laughed. "Oh, Samuel. You really don't understand how _powerful_ you are, do you? Your power is _great_. You are not only a threat to me, but a threat to all other supernatural beings. I needed to know what to expect from you. Now that I know you won't join me..." She shrugged. "I must destroy you."

Sam's glared hardened. "If you attack my family, there won't be anything to stop me from killing you. I'm warning you now. Any attempt to hurt them and I _will _kill you, secret or no."

"You are powerful, but you are not trained, Samuel. I'm not worried." The witch scoffed derisively. She glanced at her hounds. "Go have some fun, boys."

Everything happened quickly after that.

The hounds charged. Sam ran towards his family.

"SAM!" Dean and John's cries rent the air. Both tried to move forward, but the witch conjured more hounds that immediately surrounded them and blocked them from the youngest Winchester.

"SAMMY!"

Despite running in their direction, Sam wasn't paying a lick of attention to them, only to the hounds.

To their shock, Sam suddenly skid to a stop, twisting around rapidly, throwing one arm out just as a hound leapt straight at his face.

It stopped in mid-air with a yelp, struggling against the invisible grip that held it.

The moment froze in time.

Sam couldn't believe he had just used his powers in front of his family. He couldn't believe it had come to this.

Finally, Sam threw the hound roughly to the side. It hit a tree and almost immediately disappeared into thin air.

The other hounds were more cautious, circling Sam slowly.

Sam was tense, his entire body practically _vibrating_ with tension, prepared for another strike, another attack.

Then he made a decision.

He closed his eyes, doubling over, arms wrapping around his middle tightly, a scream ripping from him, and there was a _shift_ in the air around him and he was a wolf.

Pure white with a beautiful soft coat, Sam was a gorgeous wolf, despite the blood that coated his fur on one side.

Time sped up once more and Sam _leapt._

...

The fight was viscous.

It was terrifying.

It was nothing Dean wanted to ever see again, despite the small part of him that sung praise to his baby brother and his amazing talent, simply because the wolf was _Sammy. _His baby brother. The same baby he had held in his arms, fed, cared for, took to school, helped with homework. The same child that had looked up at him with wide, frightened eyes and asked if daddy really wanted him to _shoot_ the monster in his closet even though he could barely hold the gun.

Dean couldn't help but ask himself when he'd let that Sam go, let him become...this. A desperate warrior, facing off against odds stacked high against him, with no trust in his family, no one to watch his back.

_When exactly did I fail him?_

Now, Sam was a beast, all muscle and power and viscous speed and strength. He was tossing the witch's hounds around like they were chew toys, despite the long deep wounds they were tearing in his side with their claws, despite the teeth that sunk into his flesh over and over.

It was a bloody fight.

Sam and the hounds were tangled up, biting at whatever they could reach, scratching and growling and _snarling_, destroying and crushing.

_Sammy. I'm so sorry. I don't care how many times I have to think it, I __**will**__ tell you that. Come on, Sam. Come on._

With an animalistic growl, Sam tossed the last hound to the side and it disappeared.

_And we have a winner. For now._


	7. Chapter 6

I feel so bad about the stupid mix up with chapters. I decided to post this that I wrote last night to make up for it. I hope you guys enjoy and thanks so much for all the kind reviews, it really makes me feel giddy and happy! :D

* * *

Sam turned to face the witch, his whole body heaving, blood congealing in his white coat. His lip pulled back in a snarl of pure rage, his whole body tense and stiff, his fur standing up on his back.

The witch laughed, clapping softly, mockingly. "Very nice. Very nice. I must say, I'm impressed at how well you've mastered the wolf form for having used it so little. Surely you have more to show us though. You really have nothing to lose at this point. Your family knows your secret. You know they'll kill you when they have a chance. Assuming you survive our encounter, which, frankly isn't likely if I have any say." She sighed, mock sadly. "There is no grey in this hunting world, Sam. You're either good or evil. _You're _not human. Not fully. Not anymore. So, think. Ask yourself. Are you good or evil? More importantly, will your family see it that way?"

A shudder rippled through Sam's entire body, a small whimper-like noise coming from the powerful body that housed Dean's frightened younger brother. It was followed by a snarl of hatred.

_Sammy. _

A howl of pain, turned scream, and Sam was abruptly human again. His whole body trembled with pain, his hands clutching a deep wound in his side.

He was struggling to stay on his feet.

"I don't care. As l-long as they're safe. If I have to run...I will." he manages.

He sounded frightened at that prospect, but his voice was strong nonetheless.

"Oh the optimism of youth. If you're so convinced that everything will ultimately be okay, we'll continue. Let them see the full monstrosity you have become, hmm? Let them see the full scale of the abilities you developed _years_ ago and _never told them about._"

Sam couldn't bring himself to look at his family. His head hung. Clearly he believed her.

"Ah, look. Some friends have joined the party. Come to destroy the so-called warrior of heaven."

...

_Wait. What? 'Warrior of heaven'? _Dean didn't have time to consider all the witch had revealed, as he looked around and saw _them_.

_#$%._

_..._

Sam grimaced. _This isn't good. _

Five demons had materialized out of the trees.

_This day just couldn't get any worse, could it? _

Sam was so tired.

He was in so much pain.

But one thought of his vulnerable family standing behind him and he knew that no matter the consequences for him, he just _couldn't_ give up.

He wouldn't.

_Winchester stubborn._

The demons were all grinning at him with various levels of hatred and amusement.

"Let's hear you scream, Samuel Winchester." one of them hissed with a laugh.

Sam gritted his teeth, glaring at the demon. "How about you scream instead?" Sam retorted and threw his hands up.

The demon flew up into the air, then slammed down _hard_ onto the ground. The other demons were more wary, slowing their approach, trying to gauge the threat.

_Might as well go out with style. _

Sam smirked at the demons. "Come on. Are you frightened?" he taunted.

The demons scowled, incensed at the taunt and charged at him, manuevering so two were coming at Sam from the side, two coming at Sam from the front.

Sam lashed out with one arm, sending another demon flying backwards.

As the other demons approached, Sam looked around,trying to figure out how he was going to defeat them _all_.

That's when it hit him.

Sam kicked at the ground with one foot, towards the closest demon and a wall of earth rose up and smashed down on top of it.

Sam grinned. _Oh yeah. Now that's cool. _

Kicking rapidly with one foot, then with another, two more walls of earth smashed down on two more demons.

_Well that's three permanently out of this fight. Hey, no matter what my family thinks of me, surely Dean will at least give me points for style._

The remaining two demons were close and before Sam could act, one reached forward, despite Sam's attempt to push him back with telekinesis, and wrapped a hand around Sam's throat.

Sam's hands clawed desperately at the demon's, choking, gasping.

His eyes suddenly hardened and he kicked out at the demon, knocking the surprised demon back a step, getting himself released in the process.

Sam fell to the ground, coughing and gasping.

_Get up! Get up, dang it! UP! _

When the second demon finally moved towards him, Sam lashed out with a hand and the demon stopped in his tracks. He was struggling, unable to break free of Sam's hold.

Sam's whole form was shaking. Exhaustion permeated from every inch of his body and he was still losing blood.

He knew he didn't have much longer.

_But I __**have**__ to finish this. I __**have**__ to. _

...

Dean wasn't sure how Sam was still standing, much less how Sam was still conscious and still fighting.

_Come on, kiddo. Come on. You can do it._

...

The demon suddenly broke free of Sam's hold, stepping forward.

Sam grabbed onto him again desperately, adding the _other_ demon as well, who had risen to his feet and was heading towards Sam.

Both demons were struggling.

Sam was covered in blood and sweat, panting, gasping. He was weakening.

Then he began to speak.

The latin flowed easily off his tongue.

The demons writhed and screamed, but Sam managed to hold onto them long enough.

Sam pushed himself to his feet as the host's collapsed, both unfortunately dead. He faced the witch, barely able to remain on his feet.

The witch laughed.

_..._

Dean gritted his teeth.

_I think if she talks one more time, I'm going to start screaming. If I never hear a witch laugh again, I'll be happy. Arrogant, self-assured ##$% #$%#$ #%#$#%. _

_..._

"My, my. You _are_ powerful. But can you handle more hounds or more demons? You are too much of a threat to leave alive, Samuel. This battle has proven that. I think my fun is over. Time to end it."

Sam was quiet for a moment, even as the witch raised her hand preparing to summon more of her 'pets', then he suddenly spoke.

"You're right. It is time to end it."

The witch paused, confused, then understanding lit in her eyes. She took a step back, but she was too slow.

Earth raised up around her on all sides and with a loud crash it fell down on top of her.

She was dead.

The hounds guarding the hunters disappeared without a sound.

Sam's shoulders slumped. He was definitely nearing the end of his endurance. He turned around. His eyes filled with tears, facing his family.

Dean was barely fast enough to lunge forward and catch Sam as his baby brother finally collapsed.


	8. Chapter 7

Thank you all so much for the reviews and for reading! I have just an epilogue left! I hope you all enjoyed this story. I think it's one of my favorites so far! :) I'm considering a sequel. We'll have to see... :)

* * *

Dean paced back and forth beside the bed where Sam laid, motionless, breathing shallowly, pale as death.

It was all up to Sam now.

They had stitched his wounds, cleaned off the blood, changed him into comfortable, warm sweats.

He was still unconscious.

They could do nothing else.

"He'll make it. He'll make it." Dean murmured under his breath, like if he said it enough it would be true.

_Please make it. Please. Give me a chance to __**fix **__everything. Please Sammy. Please don't leave me. Don't give up on me, kiddo. Please._

Dean glanced at John, looking for reassurance, but his father's face was blank, his eyes thoughtful, as he stared at Sam.

Dean frowned, but turned his attention back to Sam. _Please Sammy. Don't leave me. _

...

Sam woke slowly.

Dean saw his eyes beginning to move, heard him sigh, shift slightly, and knew that his brother was moments from consciousness.

Sam's eyes fluttered open. He looked around, looking confused, still not fully awake. "D-Dean?"

"Right here, Sammy." Dean waited for the explosion. He knew there would be a panic moment, a freak out, but he wasn't sure exactly how or when it was going to happen.

It came sooner than he'd been hoping, but at least he could tell when it did.

Sam's eyes slowly widened, a fleeting expression of pain, then sheer panic took its place.

Dean reached towards him, but Sam jerked back from his touch, adrenaline giving him the strength to scramble off the bed, but it was as far as he could go before he began to crumple again.

Dean caught him before he hit the floor. He felt a weakless, touchless push against his chest and realized with hurt and shock that Sam was trying to _push_ him back with the telekinesis, but it was too weak to have any effect.

The kid just didn't have it in him.

Sam was sobbing, whimpering softly. "No, no, no, please, no..."

The words tore at Dean painfully. His baby brother's total and pure terror broke Dean's heart.

_Ah, Sammy. What have we done to you? How could you be so afraid of us? I'm so sorry._

Sam was struggling slightly, very weakly. He was still completely panicking.

Dean pulled him into his arms, hugging him tightly. "Sammy. Sammy, we're not mad. You're okay. We're not going to hurt you. I promise. I promise. I'm not gonna hurt you, kiddo." he soothed. He tried to keep the desperation out of his voice. "Just take a deep breath. You're okay. You're okay. I promise. You're safe. You're safe. Deep breath."

Sam was shaking violently, clutching onto Dean tightly, small gasps coming from him, both from exhaustion and sudden overwhelmed feelings of relief and lingering fear.

He was limp against his big brother, unable to hold himself up at all, though his muscles were still as tense as his body could manage, his fear remained. He was still crying.

His head was tucked under Dean's chin, Dean's arms still wrapped around him gently but tightly.

Dean rubbed his arm and back, repeating over and over that Sam was safe. He would continue to repeat it until Sam believed it. No matter how long it took.

Sam finally began to calm, breathing slowing gradually. Finally, he slumped completely against his brother, pure exhaustion dragging him back into unconsciousness.

Dean couldn't bring himself to release the kid. He didn't even move from his position on the floor. He wanted Sam to wake up feeling safe.

...

A few hours passed.

John sat in a chair near Dean. He hadn't said a word at all for hours and his face was blank, eyes hard.

Dean held a silent vigil over his young brother, still sleeping.

He was losing the battle against his guilt.

_This is such a mess. _Dean cursed. _Sam never should have been afraid to tell me. That'll be the first thing I fix. _

Sam stirred in his arms.

Dean looked down at him, began to run his hand through Sam's hair soothingly, hoping to avoid another freakout.

Sam's eyes fluttered open. He stiffened for just a second, but Dean was already murmuring that he was safe, that he would be okay, that they weren't mad, and Sam relaxed against him once more.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Sammy, I'm here."

"Y-you aren't mad? Y-you don't hate me?"

"No. No, Sammy. Never. I will _never_ hate you."

"Y-you aren't going to hunt me?" Sam sounded so confused.

Dean supposed he couldn't blame him considering a way of thinking that Sam had held to for many years was being flushed down the toilet, but the question still hurt. "Never. I _promise_. I _promise you_, Sam. Never."

Dean paused, letting that sink in for a moment. "I do have some questions, though, kiddo. I'd like to know your side of your powers. I want to understand. I mean, obviously, I saw some of it today. You can...transform into a wolf."

Sam nodded slightly. "I'm not a werewolf though. More like a shapeshifter, sorta. I have control. The only thing is I have to change once a week. It's usually why I get moodier near the end of the week. I'm having a hard time controlling the wolf side of me and the longer I go without changing the harder it is to contain. I've been trying to find places to do it that I won't be overheard in, but it's hard, so some weeks are worse than others because I couldn't find a place." Sam explained. His voice was soft and clearly he was unused to talking about this so openly, yet relief was in his tone. It was an amazing feeling: to be able to get all of this out in the open. No more secrets.

"Well...that explains a lot." Dean managed.

Sam snorted. "Yeah, I bet. Sorry."

"It's okay, Sammy. I understand. ...So...telekinesis too. That's kinda self-explanatory. The earth moving thing was freakin' awesome by the way."

Sam blushed. "Uh, thanks."

"She also mentioned something about memory. Is that why you could tell dad what the phrase was he was looking for earlier?"

Sam nodded. "Yep."

Dean didn't quite know what to think about all of this yet, so he stuck with short and simple. "Wow."

Sam snorted again. "Understatement of the century."

Then Dean remembered something else he had wanted to ask about. "Sam, why did she call you the 'warrior of heaven'?"

Sam paused, then sighed. "When I was 11, I saw an angel in a dream. He told me that I was meant to fight a great evil, that I was a 'warrior of heaven' and that I would never be alone. Castiel, that was his name, said though times would be rough, torturous, and sometimes I would feel alone, I would always have the strength I needed. He said I was to use my abilities to fight evil for humanity's sake." Sam was quiet, waiting for his family's reactions.

"Crap, kiddo." Dean breathed. "This is nuts."

"You don't believe me?" Sam sounded hurt.

Dean quickly backtracked. "No! Of course I believe you. It's just overwhelming is all, kiddo."

Sam offered him a small, shy smile of gratitude.

Quiet settled over them for a moment, all lost in thought.

"That was _freakin' awesome_." Dean suddenly announced.

"Huh? What?" Sam sleepily responded, having been on the brink of falling asleep again.

"Crap, kiddo, you just kicked _butt_ today. That was totally awesome. You tossed those hounds around like they were-were _pillows_ or something! And smashing those demons and...crap, Sammy, that was so cool! My little bro kicks _butt_!"

Sam laughed, turning bright red once more. "Thanks, Dean. I can't wait to see what I can do once I actually _practice_ with this crap."

Dean laughed. "Me neither, kiddo, me neither."

A moment later, Sam began to slump against his brother once more, still exhausted.

"Why don't we put you in bed, Sammy?" Dean suggested, gently.

Sam nodded, sleepily. "K."

Dean carefully stood, Sam still in his arms and laid his brother down, pulling the covers up over him and gently brushing Sam's hair out of his eyes. "Sleep, Sam. You're safe."

...

Dean woke with a start. His knife was in his hand, prepared for attack, but none came. All was silent. _What the heck woke me up?_

His father had left the room.

Curious and worried, Dean stood silently.

The window was open just slightly, but it was enough.

"-now. Yeah. Psychic. Telekinesis, shapeshifting. Nothing else is an immediate threat. Yes. In the morning. Yeah. Can you get here by then?" A pause. "Good. Good. Yeah. What?" Pause. "Do I _know_ him?" A pause. "No. No, I don't."

Dean pulled away from the window, chest constricting with pain nearing what he had felt that morning when discovering Sam's secret and Sam's lack of trust in them. _No. No, dad. Please, no. _

He climbed into bed, pretending to be asleep as his father came back in and went back to sleep.

_What now? Crap, what do I do now? I only have till morning. _

But Dean knew what he had to do. It hurt and it would be the hardest thing he had ever done, but he would do it. Because Sam was the most important thing to him and he would protect his baby brother. No matter what.

So Dean waited.

Waited till his father's breathing was steady and he knew he was asleep.

Then he stood, silently walking over to Sam's side of the bed.

_Guess your training backfired on you, huh, dad? You taught us __**too**__ well._

Dean grabbed Sam's shoulder, shaking him.

Sam's eyes flew open and he opened his mouth to speak, confusion clear on his exhausted face, but Dean immediately put a hand over his mouth firmly, but gently and shook his head, putting a finger to his lips. He mouthed, "Trust me."

Sam nodded, no longer looking scared, though looking considerably confused.

Dean silently lifted his brother up in his arms, walked over to the door, then eased it open as carefully and silently as he could. He only glanced back once to see if their father had awoken.

He hadn't.

Dean quickly moved out the door, leaving it open just an inch so he could go back in if he had the chance and grab their things.

Loading his brother ever so gently into the car, his exhausted brother was hardly able to keep himself awake. Dean was fairly sure Sam was only awake because of pure stubborn curiosity.

Dean carefully buckled Sam into the seat, then shut the door as silently as he could, heading back towards the door. He pushed it open silently, then grabbed the two bags that belonged to him and Sam respectively, thankful that their dad had made them pack early and place the bags next to the door so they could be ready to go once the witch had been taken care of.

Of course, that had been before their whole world had crumbled around them.

Dean dropped the bags outside the door, then turned. He gazed at his sleeping father for a moment, deep sorrow and agonizing pain filling him for just a moment. It was followed almost immediately by anger. _Our family could have been whole and happy. #$# you, dad. How could you want to hurt __**Sam**__? _

Dean shut the door, grabbed their bags and threw them in the back, then climbed into his own seat, shutting his door quietly.

He had to take a second then, overwhelmed by all that was going on, horrified by what he was about to do. He leaned his head against the wheel, working to keep his breathing steady, keep his form from shaking. He couldn't start crying. He'd cried enough recently to last him for the rest of his life.

But he was all too aware of Sam's frightened gaze on him, of their traitorous father sleeping in the room.

He didn't have time for a freak out.

He couldn't break free.

It was Sam's frightened whimper, "Dean?" that finally gave Dean the strength to continue. It was a firm reminder of _why_ he was doing this.

"It's okay, Sammy. We're just...just going on a bit of a drive."

He stuck the keys in the ignition.

"With our bags and without dad?" Sam's tone managed to sneak a little sarcasm in underneath the fear.

"J-just give me a sec, Sammy. Trust me." Dean said.

Sam was silent for a moment, then, "Always, Dean."

Dean tucked the warmth that filled his suffering soul at that away for a later date, knowing he had to focus right now. He locked the doors, then reached over and laid a hand on Sam's chest to keep him from tumbling anywhere. They were gonna have to move fast. "Hold on, Sammy."

"How exactly?" Sam complained, sleepily.

Dean just grinned tightly and turned the key.

The car roared to life and Dean knew in that instant their father was out of bed and already moving towards the door.

Lucky for the two boys, the car was faster. Dean pulled out of the parking lot with a screech, vaguely noticing their father standing in the doorway of their motel room, watching them storm off.

He probably already knew why they'd left.

Dean swallowed and pressed harder on the gas.

...

Dean drove in silence for hours.

Sam had fallen back asleep once Dean had decided it was safe to slow down and drive at a speed closer to the speed limit. The kid was exhausted.

Dean sighed heavily.

"D-Dean?"

Dean jumped, startled at the sudden voice.

"Sam. Crap. Um, what?"

"What's going on?" Sam's words were hesitant, tentative, like he was afraid of the answer, afraid to know.

Dean glanced over at him, brows furrowing slightly at the exhaustion still prevalent in Sam's face, the fear that remained. "Sammy." Dean wasn't sure he was strong enough to explain this now. Sam's reaction alone might kill him, never mind his own strong feelings.

But Sam's puppy dog eyes had made an appearance, large and mournful, begging, a need to understand clear in them.

Dean swallowed hard, fighting the urge to close his eyes (considering he was driving) and did something he hadn't done since his mom died. _Please. C-castiel, Sam says you're out there, so you gotta be out there...I don't know if you can listen to me like you can listen to Sam or...or if you would even bother with me, since you seem to be Sam's angel, but...please help me find the strength to tell Sam. Please let Sam be okay. Let him be okay. _

Dean glanced at Sam, who was still watching him with those wide eyes.

Then a voice sounded in his mind, crystal clear, yet not frightening to the surprised hunter.

_**All will be well, Dean Winchester. **_

"...I heard dad talking to another hunter over the phone. He...he's not so thrilled about your powers, Sammy. He...He told the hunter to meet him in the morning and he...he was going to attack you. Maybe even..." Dean couldn't finish.

Sam was silent and Dean chanced a look at him. Sam's chin rested on his chest, his shoulders shaking. Tears glistened in the moonlight as they fell.

"Sammy..." Dean pulled the car over to the side of the road, then quickly scooted across the seat, gathering a shaking Sam into his arms. "I'm so sorry, Sammy. I'm so sorry. It's gonna be okay, though. I promise. It's gonna be okay."

Dean held Sam as his baby brother sobbed silently, his weak form shaking with grief and pain. "It'll be okay, Sammy. I promise. I promise I'll make it okay."

_I promise._

"Where are we gonna go?" Sam managed through his sobs.

Dean tightened his hold on Sam supportingly. "Bobby's. We're gonna go to Bobby's."

...

Dean drove for 12 hours straight before he finally had to stop. Sam slept through most of it _and_ slept through an exhausted Dean carrying him into their motel room and tucking him into the bed farthest from the door.

Dean fell into bed and knew no more.

...

When Sam woke, he was rather taken aback by his change in surroundings. They were in a new motel room. Dean was sitting at the table, cleaning his gun in silence.

"Dean?"

His older brother turned at the call. "Hey Sammy. Slept long enough, lazy #$."

Sam snorted. "Excuse me for saving your butt."

Dean paused, then continued. "Well, perhaps I can let it slide this once, then."

Sam smiled a little, staring at the ceiling for a moment, thinking about everything_ but _what, _who_, they had left behind.

Dean sighed suddenly, throwing the gun and cleaning rag down on the table, standing and striding over to Sam, then sitting down on the bed beside him.

His voice was soft, yet heavy with guilt. "How did you manage with all this for so long by yourself, Sammy? I just...I can't stop thinking about...about the last few years with...with all the hunts and all the pain and wounds and crap going on and I just..."

Dean grunted in frustration, unsure of how to express what he was thinking.

Sam looked at his brother, sympathy in his gaze. He had already forgiven his older brother. In his eyes, it was partly his fault as well. He hadn't given him a chance either, had he?

Fear was a powerful weapon and it had almost destroyed them both. It _had_ destroyed their father and in a sense it had destroyed their family as well. Sam's mind shied away from that thought.

"Winchester stubborn, I suppose. It...I mean, it was exhausting, you know? I was always afraid, always wondered if I would mess up and someone would find out and I would be hunted. There was no real peace, I could never really rest. But...you know I'm not mad at you, Dean, right? I'm just so...so glad that the secret is out, that the hiding is over."

Sam's voice was strained with emotional pain and extreme exhaustion, as he added, "I'm just so tired of fearing the future. It should be okay, but...but now with dad...there's a whole new reason to be afraid."

Dean frowned thoughtfully, feeling better knowing that by some miracle Sam wasn't mad at him. "Everyone fears the unknown, Sammy, and the future is the biggest unknown there is." he said after a moment.

Sam's wide, tearful eyes met Dean's. "Then what do I do?"

Dean laid his hands on Sam's shoulders, looking his baby brother in the eyes. "The key, Sammy, is who you have in your life. There is no need to truly fear the future when you are surrounded by those who love you, who will have your back, and will face that unknown future with you." Dean tightened his hold on Sam's shoulders. "I _love you, _Sammy." he said fiercely. "You hear me? I love you. _I _have your back. And I _will_ face the future with you. So you don't need to be afraid because I will _always_ be by your side. Dad made his choice and I made mine. I choose _you._"

Sam buried his face in Dean's chest, grabbing him in a tight hug, shaking, trying to restrain his sobs. He simply nodded, unable to speak.

Dean wrapped his arms around Sam tightly, rubbing his back soothingly.

"The angel was right about one thing, Sammy. You _will_ never be alone."


	9. Epilogue

I love the epilogue. I couldn't wait. Hope you've enjoyed the story! Please review! Want a sequel? :)

* * *

Life was very different for the Winchester boys after that. Bobby took them in, happy to help, furious with John, supportive of Sam. Considering the last time they had seen Bobby was with him pointing a shotgun at their father and yelling at him, they figured he was a safe person to rely on to help protect them from him.

Dean knew it was only a matter of time before they had to deal with their father. He was one of the best hunters in the world and he was stubborn as #$%.

Yet, somehow, Dean wasn't afraid.

Knowing about Sam's powers seemed to unite the brothers like they never had been before.

They watched each other's backs, learned to rely on each other in a way they never had before.

...

"Sam!" Dean's cry rang through the house, worry blasting through Sam as he ran towards his big brother.

Training coming in handy, Sam was reacting before he really understood what he was seeing.

He threw a hand up, freezing the werewolf in its tracks, not letting go even as it struggled. Dean slid out of the corner it had backed him into, walking towards his baby brother.

"My _hero!" _he cried, throwing his arms up like he was about to wrap them around Sam's neck.

"Touch me and die, jerk."

"Fine be that way, #$%^."

...

Dean tried to compromise with Sam, give him good memories to cover up the bad, easing up on the training that had continued even in the absence of their father since it was obvious Sam wasn't as unprepared to defend himself as they had once thought.

...

"Have fun on your date, Sam." Bobby nodded in Sam's direction as the young boy walked towards the door, dressed in the nicest clothes he had.

Dean was leaning against the Impala outside, waiting for his baby brother. As Sam walked up to him, Dean's hand appeared in front of him, dangling the...

"No. No, seriously? Dean! Crap, you're my friggin' hero man!"

It was with a grin that Dean handed the Impala's keys to Sam.

"Just don't forget what I told you, Sammy."

"I'm not making out on the first date, Dean."

"I really don't understand how we're related."

"It's okay, Dean. I love you, no matter how many issues you have."

"#$%^."

"Jerk."

...

It became a priority to teach Sam how to use his powers better, because his baby brother in pain was something Dean could never, and would never, tolerate.

Dean and Sam became very close as Dean tried to understand, to appreciate, his baby brother in a way he never had before.

...

Dean took a careful step forward, struggling not to give his position away because of all the dead leaves and small twigs on the ground.

A flash of white and he was on the ground, a cry of frustration and surprise falling from his lips.

The pure white wolf that was sitting on top of him grinned. _Grinned._

"Darn you, Sammy. You and your stupid wolf stealth. And quit grinning that's really freakin' creepy."

...

Their differences became a source of pride rather than a source of contention. Mostly.

...

"Dang it, Sam! Using your telekinesis during a water fight is _cheating_!"

Dean was pretty sure Sam couldn't hear him.

The hystical laughter was ridiculously loud.

"It wasn't that funny."

"Oh, I think it was pretty funny. Look at you, you're soaked."

"You're dead. Oh, you are so dead. SAM! Don't you d-"

Drenched.

"#$%^."

...

Nothing could defeat the Winchesters when they were united.

...

Sam came to a startling revelation about six months after the encounter with the witch.

_I'm happy. I'm actually...happy._

It was something that for a long time he had been sure he would never have.

It was energizing, refreshing, gratifying, to know that he did have it.

_I guess Castiel was right after all. I never will be alone. I will always have the strength I need to face evil because I can face __**anything**__ with my family by my side. _

_Together, the Winchesters can save the world._

_Dean and Sam. _

_Warriors of Heaven._

_Has a nice ring to it._

"Head in the game, Sam. You think we can beat this #$ of a #$%^?"

Sam flashed Dean his brightest smile.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

...

"When I'm lost in the rain  
In your eyes I know I'll find the light  
To light my way,

When I'm scared,

Losing ground,  
When my world is going crazy

you can turn it all around  
And when I'm down

you're there pushing me to the top  
You're always there giving me all you've got

For a shield from the storm,

For a friend,

For a love to keep me safe and warm,

I turn to you.  
For the strength to be strong,

For the will to carry on,  
For everything you do,

For everything that's true,

I turn to you."

- unknown


End file.
